Autism Speaks Official Blog

I’m a tennis player. I’m also the mother to a child with autism.

The parallels were hidden at first, but over the years I have come to understand that both areas of my life require focus. Point by point to win a match. Minute by minute to help my son. Tennis legend Arthur Ashe said, “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”

Holy life mantra.

START WHERE YOU ARE

Winning a tennis match is about finding opportunity at every possible point, forward-moving momentum and never stopping to admire your own shot.

I distinctly remember standing in Elizabeth Park in West Hartford, Connecticut after chairing my second Walk Now for Autism. Oh yes, the turnout was phenomenal. Oh yes, the families were celebrating their loved ones. Oh yes, we raised a lot of money. But, it occurred to me that there were 3,000 people standing in this beautiful park, while the people we needed to HEAR our cheers were off doing something else. Where were our policy makers? Where were our legislators?

We had opportunity. We had momentum. To be cliché, the ball was in our court.

Serve to start the match.

USE WHAT YOU HAVE

Tennis coaches are always saying, “Use your own strengths. Focus on your game.”

My mother told me in high school I was going to get a degree in “phoneology,” because like most teenage girls I was ALWAYS on the phone. This skill has proven a useful tool.

The day after the Walk, I put my degree in phoneology to work by calling my Congressman, Chris Murphy’s office. A lot. I called the local office and I called the Washington office. I had been around the autism block enough to know, that I could not be the ONLY person in his district living with autism. There had to be hundreds and he needed to hear from us. And by the same token, we needed to hear from him, and other policy makers about exactly WHAT was being done to help our children. Why were kids not getting services in school? Why were there no jobs for adults with autism? And what was the deal with this insurance coverage business?

We needed an autism forum.

The serve was returned. Our first Autism Speaks autism forum was attended by about 100 people and held in the heatless auditorium of a local middle school.

DO WHAT YOU CAN

Being in a defensive position in tennis is not really the best scenario, but a player has to make the most of it by staying on her toes, looking for the opening in the court, playing smart.

That first autism forum has been the opening in the court. The Congressman has since done two additional forums to make them an annual event, and they have served as a model for other Congressional representatives in Connecticut. My goal this year was to host an autism forum in every congressional district in the state and to date, we have almost succeeded.

At the end of every forum, I feel like I have played a mental tennis match. I’ve nodded my head so many times in agreement with people, watched questions bounce back and forth between the audience and panelists and sometimes the amount of work looming before us feels like I’ve been smashed by an overhead.

Whether we all think of ourselves as competitors, we are. Every point is critical. Any point could decide the game.

Congressional forums such as the ones held in Connecticut should be happening in every state. They don’t have to be Wimbledon. Start thinking about who comes to your Walks? Who are the policy makers? What are the questions you need answered and who can answer them?

It’s about looking for the opportunity. Game. Set. Match. We win.