In Their Own Words – Focusing on the “Cans”
This “In Their Own Words” essay was submitted by Teresa Greenwood of Hays, Kansas, who has a daughter with autism.
This was my first celebration of World Autism Awareness Day. A year ago I didn’t know that April 2 was anything other than another day on the calendar.
Did I ever think about autism before my two-year-old daughter was diagnosed – no. Sure, I’d heard of it, and I sympathized with families that “had to deal” with a child with a disability. I did not know anyone with a child with autism, however. And I never would have thought it would affect my family, but it has.
Morgan’s diagnosis, and her progress since then, has changed my life for the better. I have more patience than ever before, and more understanding that we have to cherish every blessing we have. I am blessed to have Morgan in my life, and I would not change her in any way. Also, I am blessed with three other children who love their sister and embrace her diagnosis.
Of course, I grieve for the child she could have been without autism, but I also recognize the amazing child she is with it. When I drop her off at daycare and another two year old says “Hi, what’s your name?” I am reminded that Morgan only occasionally says “Momma” and mostly babbles without words. I know that she may never be fully verbal and will probably be in special education classes in school. The odds are she will never live independently. When she becomes excited or upset she will flap her arms uncontrollably. She easily becomes overwhelmed to where she has to drop to her knees and suck on her fingers. She is an extremely picky eater, like most people who have autism, and she has trouble sleeping at times. But I do not dwell on the “can’ts” and the “nevers.” I focus on the “cans.”
Morgan transformed from completely nonverbal with little eye contact to a bright child who babbles constantly. She will hold a pig and say “oink oink.” She will hold a cow and say “mooooo.” She also has a sheep, which says “baaaa.” She holds these animals to a toy hay bale to make them eat. She now waves bye-bye on occassion, and she has used some of the sign language she has learned. She will make a spider sign when she wants to sing “Itsy bitsy spider.” And she will pull her sisters’ hair if they get too close. She will run to her daddy when it is time to pray, and she will come crawl in bed with us in the middle of the night.
Morgan thrives in her therapy and learns quickly. And I can’t thank her therapists enough for taking the time to work with her, to help her become the person she was meant to be. Early intervention is key to successfully living with autism, and Morgan was fortunate enough to be able to experience that.
I watched a video of a speech by Temple Grandin, who has her doctorate’s degree and is a published author … and who also has autism. HBO recently made a movie about her, which I have yet to see. Watching the real Temple give a speech about her life with autism – and her successes since her diagnosis – gives me such hope that there is a place in this world for my daughter’s beautiful mind.
I sympathize with the people glaring at us in church because Morgan is holding her toy cow in the air and yelling “moooooo!” But I am not sorry, because to me there is not a more beautiful sound in the world than my autistic daughter finally finding her voice and saying words. Even if it’s barnyard talk.
On World Autism Awareness Day, remember autism, and the millions of families affected by this spectrum disorder. Research is continuing so that hopefully, someday, more can be understood about this mystifying disabiliity. Until then, I will continue to grin at my daughter while she talks to her farm animals, being extremely proud of all she has accomplished at such a young age.
“In Their Own Words” is a series within the Autism Speaks blog which shares the voices of people who have autism, as well as their loved ones. If you have a story you wish to share about your personal experience with autism, please send it to firstname.lastname@example.org. Autism Speaks reserves the right to edit contributions for space, style and content. Because of the volume of submissions, not all can be published on the site.