Ten Tips for Vacationing with Your Child – Part 3
This guest post is by Elaine Hall, author of the memoir NOW I SEE THE MOON: A Mother, a Son, a Miracle and founder of The Miracle Project, a theatre and film arts program for children with special needs. She is also the mother of a fifteen-year-old son with autism. Discuss the book on Facebook and follow Elaine on Twitter @CoachE.
Tip # 7 Staycations: Same place, different experiences. Customize!
When I was a child we went on a family vacation every year, usually to the beach. One year, our finances were particularly low and we couldn’t get away – so my dad made a fun time of “Vacation at home!” My dad and mom set it up so that each child and parent got “their day,” and the other family members went along. My dad’s choice was fishing at a nearby lake, my mom, “vegging” out at a local pool, my brother chose an amusement park, my sister a movie, and I chose going to an art museum. This special week stands out in my memory as one of the best vacations in my life.
Let your child be part of this planning process. Use a dry erase pad and write down possible ideas. Let your child circle or point to where they would like to go. For kids who are nonverbal – there is a new app for the iPad called Proloquo 2Go, which “provides a full-featured communication solution for people who have difficulty speaking.” Find what communication system(s) work best for your child so that your child with ASD can have a voice in choosing where they wish to go. Let each child feel special. If possible, you can bring along a teen volunteer to help out. For moms – maybe your special day can be going ALONE to a spa day, while the rest of the crew has a picnic. Refuel. It matters.
AMC theaters now offer Sensory Friendly films where our kids can walk up and down aisles, make noise, and just be themselves.
Tip #8 Get a special pass when you go to an amusement park (or other busy venues like concerts, plays, etc.).
Some children with ASD love amusement parks; some find them too stimulating or overwhelming. Again, preparation is the key to success. Before taking Neal to Disneyland, we showed him photos, went online and let him do a virtual tour. Once we arrived there, we had a pretty good idea of what he wanted to do. Remember too that your child’s interests may seem odd but they are his or her interests. (Neal could go on Space Mountain 10 times!)
Most of the major amusement parks have a special disability pass where your child and family members do not have to stand in long lines. Don’t be proud! Get this pass! In fact, Neal is one of the most popular kids on our block, when it comes to going to Magic Mountain, his now favorite amusement park, since everyone in his party doesn’t have to stand in line!
Tip # 9 Enjoy the great outdoors.
Neal loves to be outside. I have seen him the happiest when he can be out all day long. Go camping, to the beach, hiking, have picnics, do things where your child can feel boundless with few opportunities to have to say “No,” or manage inappropriate behaviors. Today there are many outdoor programs that families with special needs can enjoy:
Tip #10 Be Here Now (wherever “Here” is that day)!
Give yourself the present of being Present. Enjoy this precious moment. I once attended a family surf camp where the dad had spent hours preparing his son for surfing: practicing standing on a surfboard, paddling in a pool, etc. However, once at the beach, his son was so excited about being in the ocean, that he just wanted to play and dance in the waves, he didn’t want or need to surf as planned. The dad moped on the beach, feeling this situation as one more failure. I suggested that he stop for a second and look at his child who was in complete joy. The father soon realized that it was his own need for his son to complete the task at hand, rather than enjoying the moments with his son. He realized as we all do from time to time, that the gift of the present is sharing time, experiences, and engagement with each member of our family … in their own special way, and in their own special time.
As I look back, even that first seemingly “failed” beach trip where my mom and Neal spent time on the patio together, was actually a beautiful bonding time between grandchild and grandmother.
Enjoy the moments. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift that is why it is called the Present.
Vacation is in part, a state of mind.
Enjoy your summer. And please let me know how your vacation goes!!!