Archive
In Their Own Words – Finding Autism Island
When an Autism Diagnosis Brings Relief
Vincent Randazzo’s son Michael was diagnosed with Down syndrome early in life, leading Vincent to become actively involved with the National Down Syndrome Society (NDSS). Autism Speaks and NDSS are now partnering in their support before Congress for the Achieving a Better Life Experience (ABLE) Act which would allow families raising children with disabilities, such as autism or Down syndrome, to save tax-free for their future needs.
Vincent Randazzo explains how his family’s connection with autism runs even deeper.
When my son Michael was born with Down syndrome 13 years ago, my wife Dorothy and I were upset and sad for Michael that he would not experience a normal life. Because of our circumstances, however, we did not experience the sense of terror that so many parents face when they get the news that their newborn has a developmental disability.
Michael has a brother and a sister who would love him and care for him like any other sibling. At the time, my wife was a public health nurse in the public school system and an advocate for students with special needs. We quickly became aware that medical research had advanced to the point where people with Down syndrome were living much longer and more fulfilling lives, and the future held exponentially greater promise.
I immediately engaged in Down syndrome advocacy, supporting the priorities of the National Down Syndrome Society and serving on the boards of a local parent support group and a national research foundation. But within a few years, everything we thought we knew about Michael’s condition, and how to give him the best chance at living an independent life, was turned upside down.
Around age four, we started to notice that Michael’s developmental progress had stopped and, in many ways, he was regressing. He became less talkative, developed verbal tics, and made eye contact less often. He would obsess about movie videos, ceiling fans, and where we placed his food on the plate. We would attend social gatherings hosted by the local Down syndrome support organization, and notice that he was socially different than most of the other children. He didn’t play or interact with his peers the way a typical child with Down syndrome did.
During family vacations or visits with friends and relatives, Michael would be irritable and disruptive. He would be violent toward other children, grabbing their necks, hitting them in the face or pushing them to the ground. We were always being told that people with Down syndrome were so lovable and good-natured. Why wasn’t that the case with our son?
Around age 5, we started raising concerns about Michael’s developmental issues with his pediatrician and pediatric neurologist, and told that people with Down syndrome have varying degrees of the disability. During one medical visit, we were told “so what if he had autism, what difference would it make?” One neurologist actually treated him for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.
At about age 8, we brought up our suspicions about autism withMichael’s teachers and, to our surprise, they acknowledged the possibility. We were referred to TEACCH, a group at the University of North Carolina Medical School in Chapel Hill which works with individuals with autism spectrum disorders and their families by providing clinical services, training teachers and care providers, and conducting psychological, educational, and biomedical research.
The initial screening determined that Michael met the criteria to be tested, and we were put on an 18-month wait list to be evaluated for autism. He was finally tested around age 10. The conclusion was that Michael had moderate autism, and that autism – not Down syndrome – was his primary disability.
We were advised to change the way we think about Michael’s disability and how to plan for him medically, socially and educationally. After having been encouraged to put Michael in inclusive educational, social and family situations where he was continuously failing, we now know that a self-contained environment was best. The medicines he took and the way his medical providers approached his care significantly changed. With the dual diagnosis, he became eligible for supportive services from the State, and his school IEP was revised to emphasize more life skills and social goals.
The dual diagnosis and subsequent changes in the way we approach Michael’s disability have not alleviated his life challenges. In fact, as he has grown older, those challenges have only increased. But the diagnosis has provided relief to our family because we now understand him better. We know that transitions are hard and social situations are so difficult for him, so we know how to plan for them. And I am no longer constantly frustrated and angry with his inability to do simple tasks.
Having more realistic expectations about his progress and goals in life has actually led me to dream about someday starting a business together when Michael finishes school and I retire.
In Their Own Words – Our Path to Diagnosis
This post is by Jennifer, a stay at home mom with two children. In 2009 her family started walking for Autism Speaks and since then, we have raised over $38k and are gearing up for another year. Our walk team is called Grape Jelly on Pizza because my son has a very strange appetite! You can check our her blog Grape Jelly on Pizza which was created to help others navigate through all the difficult questions and behaviors associated with autism and to also remind parents that they are not alone. Support – Compassion – Awareness.
It was not a simple path to his diagnosis. Realizing there was a problem was tough. Knowing where to start was hard and dealing with the fact that your child will have autism his entire life was horrible. I haven’t heard one story that was cut and dry yet about getting a diagnosis. Here is our story.
My son was born at 13:13 on January 7th. (13 happens to be a lucky number for me.) It seemed like everyone was there to welcome in the first born grandson from both sides. It was a happy occasion. We had many visitors for months to come. He was a squirmy little guy with a big smile. He didn’t like to stay still, ever. He was hitting all of his milestones and his gross motor skills were off the charts. He was climbing stairs before he could walk. Everything seemed normal.
We didn’t want to wait, so we had another baby. My daughter and son are 17 months apart. Oh, how our lives changed when there were two. Lack of sleep because my son still wasn’t a good sleeper and now a newborn. They would both be up every three hours and not at the same time. There were days that were just a blur.
A friend of mine had a son who was five months younger than B. She would bring T over to play often. That’s when I started to notice differences between the boys. T would talk to her, point at things, make eye contact, play appropriately with toys; the list went on and on. Now, I’m not big on comparing but it couldn’t be helped. Why was B so much different than T? At night I would tell my husband about all the differences and would end up crying at the dinner table. After a while he didn’t want my friend to come over anymore because of how upset I would get.
Confirmation bias is a tendency for people to favor information that confirms their preconceptions or hypotheses regardless of whether the information is true.
When we were alone he was fine. We were fine. It didn’t matter that he couldn’t talk. Kids throw fits. We could justify anything. We were good at explaining what was happening or not happening away. Confirmation bias.
Finally we heard the word autism. Two family members stepped forward at two different times to express their concerns. Unfortunately, they left it up to me to relay the information to my husband. It is sorta like when people keep asking the girl, “When are you going to get engaged?”……go to the guy to find out. It puts her in a bad spot.
At my son’s wellness visit at 2+ we asked if he could have autism. While I was holding my son on my lap, the pediatrician said his name. My son looked up at the doctor and the doctor told us, “No. He doesn’t have autism. If he did, he wouldn’t have looked at me.” OK. Again, confirmation bias. A doctor confirmed it, he didn’t have it. Sounded good. Everyone else is crazy. Instead he wrote a prescription out for a speech therapist. This we would do.
After the intake and he started therapy, his speech therapist suggested he had developmental delay. OK. No ‘autism’ word. We kept with the speech therapy. In the meantime I had contacted the county to get started on getting him evaluated for speech delay and developmental delay. Not autism. The papers were received in the mail, completed and re mailed that same day. I knew he needed help. I waited and finally got the appointment call.
So we went and of course he qualified for services. The report brought me to tears. I HATE reading those reports. Still do. Then I get a call from someone saying she was his teacher. I was like, what? Turns out he qualified for 1/2 days, 4x a week and he could ride the bus. He started when he was just 3. I had never been away from him with the exception of having my daughter. It was tough. Then a few months went by and I received a flier in his backpack advertising an Autism Awareness day at Sesame Place. Autism? He doesn’t have autism. Speech and developmental delay yes but not autism. I called the teacher to see if it was a mistake and she said, oh, I must have put it in his backpack by accident. See, every professional we had dealt with up to this point had never used the autism word. Since then we found out why. If a professional says ‘autism’ to you and you don’t have insurance, then they are responsible to pay for your services. Didn’t know that did you?
I also started going to a parent support group through the IU and after the second time a mom told me the truth……speech delay & developmental delay = autism. We now had to find a developmental pediatrician to get an official diagnosis then start with medical assistance. My head was spinning and I went into depression. I swear I lost days, weeks and months. Feeling completely numb and truly alone in my quest to get help. I tried my best not to show the stress. Like I was in control but I was falling apart.
Eventually, we went in to see the developmental pediatrician. We walked out with an official diagnosis of autism. For the first time I had a smile on my face. I knew what it was, it had a name and I was going to do everything in my power to help my son. Nothing was going to stop me and nothing has. We are a strong family unit out to do whatever it takes to not only help our son but to help others. We are not alone. You are not alone. We are all here for each other. We need to continue to reach out to others.
“In Their Own Words” is a series within the Autism Speaks blog which shares the voices of people who have autism, as well as their loved ones. If you have a story you wish to share about your personal experience with autism, please send it to editors@autismspeaks.org. Autism Speaks reserves the right to edit contributions for space, style and content. Because of the volume of submissions, not all can be published on the site.
If breakthroughs take time, how can research help families today?
Posted by Autism Speaks Chief Science Officer Geri Dawson, Ph.D.
Dear friends,
Recently, someone posed a question that made me think hard about the immediate relevance of our research to those affected by autism. I had been explaining Autism Speaks’ new focus on developing medicines that, one day, will target autism’s core symptoms in ways that reduce disabilities and improve learning abilities. Someone commented that this would likely take years to accomplish. I had to agree. His follow-up question: So, how does research help families today?
For the answer, I found myself thinking about how the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation faced this same question decades ago. Like Autism Speaks, the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation was grappling with a disorder in its medical infancy. Cystic fibrosis was defined as a medical condition in 1938. The Foundation followed in 1955. At that time, the median age of survival for those affected by the disorder was just ten years.
The leadership of the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation knew they were grappling with a complex disorder that would take years to fully understand. So they developed parallel research efforts. One focused on the immediate development of improved diagnosis and treatments that could ease symptoms. The other focused on basic science with the goal of ultimately revolutionizing treatment with therapies that target the disorder’s root causes.
Their short-term efforts included support for a network of clinical care and research centers, a patient registry and studies that focused on improving treatment of chronic symptoms and associated medical conditions. Within a relatively short time, diagnostic methods improved and physicians began adopting new gold-standard practices, including new methods for fighting lung infections and improving lung function – all made possible through research that the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation helped support. The median age of survival jumped from 10 years to 37 years!
Meanwhile, long-term research efforts focused on understanding the causes and biology of cystic fibrosis. In 1989, scientists made major breakthroughs in genetic understanding. This, in turn, led to tremendous insights into the disorder’s underlying biology. Then, just last week, the FDA approved the first drug to treat the underlying cause of cystic fibrosis, rather than its symptoms. One doctor described how his patient was able to “shovel snow for the first time.” Not coincidentally, the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation had contributed millions of dollars to the development of this drug (Kalydeco). Its early funding had been essential to convince drug companies to make the larger financial investment needed to bring any successful drug to market. In the process, the foundation negotiated a deal to earn drug royalties, which will now be reinvested in further research advancements. Just as exciting, other “disease-modifying” cystic fibrosis drugs are moving through the research pipeline.
This is the same strategy that Autism Speaks is taking with investments in both research that improves quality of life in the short term and longer-term research that promises to transform how autism is treated.
Here are just a few examples of funded research projects with the potential to improve quality of life in the near future:
- Identification of preventable environmental risk factors for autism spectrum disorder (ASD)
- Validation of questionnaires that pediatricians can use to screen babies for ASD and, so, offer earlier intervention that will improve outcomes
- Biomarkers (e.g. immune alterations) that could identify infants at risk for ASD
- Development of effective early interventions for babies before the full syndrome develops
- Support of technological inventions to enhance communication in nonverbal persons
- Development of physician guidelines for assessment and treatment of medical conditions associated with ASD
- Development of more effective treatments for associated conditions, including sleep disturbances, GI disorders, seizures and anxiety
- Development of interventions to improve employment success and relationship skills in adults
- Development of cognitive rehabilitation interventions for adults
Even as we support the development of these improved services, we are also investing in research that can identify the most effective ways to broadly implement new gold-standard practices to produce positive changes in community healthcare, education and support services for all persons who struggle with autism. This type of “dissemination research” also tells us how to best target limited resources.
Meanwhile, our long-term investments are advancing the understanding of autism’s underlying biology and the genetic and environmental factors that contribute to its development. These investments are exploring the role of the immune system, brain signaling pathways and the GI system, among other topics. Over the last five years, tremendous progress in these areas has advanced research to the point where we are now collaborating with industry to develop novel drugs with the potential to ease severe and disabling core symptoms – in adults as well as children. Fortunately, the tools we have available today will make drug discovery and development much faster than before.
Connecting the dots
At Autism Speaks, the research we fund interconnects with all parts of our mission, including awareness, advocacy and family services. Our awareness campaign, for example, is shaped by research that has revealed great disparities in access to services by communities such as ethnic-minority and low-income families.
Our advocacy of insurance reform, in turn, critically depends on research that demonstrates how early intervention improves outcomes. Research also plays a critical role in bolstering our advocacy for adolescents and adults. For example, a recent study demonstrated that adults with ASD face greater challenges in employment and social participation than do adults with other common disabilities. More importantly, this same study suggests that providing transition services immediately after high school is the most cost effective way to improve outcomes. We can use this information to advocate for improved services during the transition from high school to adulthood. Other currently funded studies promise to help us advance insurance reform to assure coverage of other interventions with proven benefits for school-age children and adults.
Similarly, Autism Speaks is funding research aimed at determining the real-world effects of proposed changes in the diagnostic criteria for autism. Will these new criteria exclude people previously diagnosed with ASD? Will they affect access to vital services? These answers will be crucial to our ability to advocate for any necessary changes in the proposed criteria.
While we see our research improving lives now, we remain committed to our long-term goals of revolutionizing treatment of ASD. I know in my heart that someday we will be making the kind of breathtaking announcement that we heard from the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation last week. The day is coming. In the meantime, we will ensure that our scientific mission remains relevant to our families today.
Warmest wishes,
Geri Dawson
Chief Science Officer, Autism Speaks
I’ve been reading news reports that it might be possible to detect autism by watching how much a 1-year-old focuses on a speaker’s mouth. Is this true?
This week’s “Got Questions?” answer is from Autism Speaks Chief Science Officer Geri Dawson, Ph.D.
In recent days, you may have read media stories about research showing that typically developing babies tend to switch from eye gazing to lip reading when first learning to talk, but then switch back to focusing primarily on a speaker’s eyes by 12 months. The research report appears online this week in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
In reporting their results, developmental psychologist David Lewkowicz and doctoral student Amy Hansen-Tift, of Florida Atlantic University, suggest that this shift in focus may be different for infants who have autism spectrum disorder (ASD) or are at risk for developing it. Taking this idea a step further, they propose that paying attention to how babies shift their focus during their first year of life might help identify infants at risk for ASD – perhaps before other obvious symptoms emerge. To back their idea, they cite previous research suggesting that 2-year-olds with autism tend to look mostly at the mouths of those speaking to them, while typically developing 2-year-olds focus mostly on eyes.
It’s an intuitively appealing idea. But in truth, past studies have not consistently supported this notion that children with ASD focus less on eyes and more on mouths.
It is true that children with autism tend to pay less attention to social actions such as expressions. However, it’s possible that children with autism, like typical children, show a similar pattern of paying more attention to the mouth when they are learning language.
Given that language delays are common among children with autism, one would predict that this language-acquisition period might be prolonged. In addition one would expect that mouth-versus-eyes gaze patterns would vary among children with ASD depending on each child’s level of language skill.
Fortunately, while we don’t yet know whether eye gaze is a reliable predictor of ASD, research solidly supports the usefulness of other signs for screening toddlers. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that all children receive autism screening at 18 and 24 months of age. One of the AAP’s recommended screening tools is the Modified Checklist for Toddlers, or M-CHAT, which you can access on our website, here. Please also see our Learn the Signs resource page.
Meanwhile, Autism Speaks continues to fund a wealth of research on early screening and diagnosis because evidence suggests that early intervention improves outcomes. You can explore these and other Autism Speaks studies here. This research – like all the resources Autism Speaks develops and offers – is made possible by our families and supporters. Thank you for your support.
For more research news and perspective, please visit our science page.
LIVE Chat with Geri Dawson, PhD & Lisa Goring Analyzing DSM-5
Chief Science Officer Geri Dawson, PhD and Family Services Vice President Lisa Goring hosted a LIVE Chat to address concerns sparked by this week’s New York Times article on proposed revisions to the medical definition of autism spectrum disorder in the DSM-5, to be published in 2013. Readers heard about its potential implications for individuals to receive an autism diagnosis and appropriate services.
|
2:56
|
|
|
2:57
|
|
|
3:00
|
|
|
3:02
|
|
|
3:03
|
|
|
3:05
|
|
|
3:06
|
|
|
3:07
|
|
|
3:09
|
|
|
3:09
|
|
|
3:10
|
|
|
3:11
|
|
|
3:12
|
|
|
3:12
|
|
|
3:15
|
|
|
3:15
|
|
|
3:16
|
|
|
3:17
|
|
|
3:18
|
|
|
3:19
|
|
|
3:21
|
|
|
3:21
|
|
|
3:22
|
|
|
3:22
|
|
|
3:24
|
|
|
3:25
|
|
|
3:28
|
|
|
3:29
|
|
|
3:29
|
|
|
3:30
|
|
|
3:31
|
|
|
3:33
|
|
|
3:34
|
|
|
3:34
|
|
|
3:36
|
|
|
3:36
|
|
|
3:42
|
|
|
3:42
|
|
|
3:43
|
|
|
3:43
|
|
|
3:44
|
|
|
3:44
|
|
|
3:48
|
|
|
3:48
|
|
|
3:48
|
|
|
3:49
|
|
|
3:49
|
|
|
3:52
|
|
|
3:53
|
|
|
3:54
|
|
|
3:55
|
|
|
3:57
|
|
|
3:57
|
|
|
3:58
|
|
|
3:59
|
|
|
4:00
|
|
|
4:01
|
|
|
4:03
|
|
|
4:04
|
|
|
4:06
|
|
|
4:07
|
|
|
4:08
|
|
|
4:09
|
|
The Changing Definition of Autism: Critical Issues Ahead
Posted by Autism Speaks Chief Science Officer Geri Dawson, PhD.
Many in our community are understandably concerned that a planned revision of the medical definition of autism spectrum disorder (ASD) by the American Psychiatric Association (APA) will restrict its diagnosis in ways that will prevent many persons from receiving vital medical and social services.
Before I catch you up on some of the details behind this revision, let me first say that although the proposed changes have a solid scientific rationale, we at Autism Speaks are likewise concerned about their effect on access to services. It is crucial that these changes don’t result in discrimination against people who are struggling with autism symptoms. As the APA moves forward in formalizing the new definition, we urge that this issue be kept at the forefront of the discussion. As the changes are implemented, scientists, families and providers will all need to carefully monitor its impact on those affected by all forms of ASD. The bottom line is this: We must ensure that all those who struggle with autism symptoms get the services they need.
Now let me provide some background.
The APA is currently completing work on the fifth edition of its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), which will be published in 2013. The DSM is the standard reference that healthcare providers use to diagnose mental and behavioral conditions. As such, it influences availability of treatments as well as insurance coverage.
An expert panel appointed by the APA has proposed that the new version of the DSM change the current definition of ASD, in part because of shortcomings in how it is currently used for diagnosis. The new definition would do three things. First, it would eliminate the previously separate categories of Asperger syndrome and pervasive developmental disorder, not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS) from the diagnostic manual. Second, it would fold these disorders, together with “classic” autism, into the single category of ASD. Finally, it would change the criteria for diagnosing ASD.
Under the current definition, a person can qualify for an ASD diagnosis by exhibiting at least 6 of 12 behaviors that include deficits in social interaction, communication or repetitive behaviors. Under the proposed definition, the person would have to exhibit three deficits in social interaction and communication and at least two repetitive behaviors. The APA has also proposed that a new category be added to the DSM – Social Communication Disorder. This would allow for a diagnosis of disability in social communication without the presence of repetitive behavior.
Based on a recent study, some experts are suggesting that many individuals who currently meet the criteria for ASD, especially those who are more cognitively capable, would no longer meet criteria for ASD. If so, the new criteria would result in discrimination against people who are more cognitively capable. We are concerned about this and will do all we can to ensure that all people who are struggling with autism symptoms retain the services they deserve.
As these new criteria are rolled out over the coming year, Autism Speaks’ position is that it will be vitally important to collect meaningful information on how the change impacts access to services by those affected by autism symptoms. Further policy changes may be needed to ensure that all persons who struggle with autism symptoms get the services they need.
It is important to keep in mind that this revision in the medical definition of ASD is not just an academic exercise. These changes in diagnostic criteria will likely have important influences on the lives of those in our community who critically need services.
[Editor's note: Please see the Autism Speaks policy statement on the DSM-5 revisions and a related FAQ here.]
Tune-in today to hear Autism Speaks’ leadership discuss the recently released analysis of the DSM-5, to be published in 2013, and hear about its potential implications for individuals to receive an autism diagnosis and appropriate services.
- Then, please join us for a live web chat at 3 pm Eastern with Autism Speaks Chief Science Officer Dr. Geraldine Dawson and Vice President of Family Services Lisa Goring – click on the tab on the Autism Speaks Facebook page to join in!
Watch Autism Speaks’ Dr. Andy Shih discuss the story on MSNBC “News Nation with Tamron Hall”
Autism Boom: An Epidemic of Disease or Discovery?
Today’s “Got Questions?” answer is from Autism Speaks Chief Science Officer Geri Dawson, Ph.D.
Earlier this week, the LA Times ran a provocative article under the questioning headline above. It suggested that autism’s twentyfold increase over the last generation may be “more of a surge in diagnosis than in disease.” In fact, scientific evidence suggests that autism’s dramatic increase is only partially explained by improved screening and diagnosis.
Some of the clearest evidence of this increase comes from research documenting a 600 percent jump in autism caseload in California between 1992 and 2006. In related studies (here and here), Peter Bearman estimated that around 42 percent of the increase can be explained by changes in diagnostic methods and awareness with another 11 percent possibly due to increases in parental age at the time of conception (a known risk factor).
Taking into account all the factors that have been studied, this leaves approximately half of the increase due to still-unidentified factors. Through research, we’re increasing our understanding of these influences. For example, we now know that prematurity and extreme low-birth weight increase autism risk in babies. Certainly survival rates for premature and very low birth weight infants have increased considerably over the last twenty years.
While no single factor is likely to explain the marked increase in autism’s prevalence, researchers agree that a number of influences likely work together to determine the risk that a child will develop an autism spectrum disorder (ASD).
Bottom line: It is undeniable that more children are being diagnosed with ASD than ever before. The need for increased funding for autism science and services has never been greater. Autism costs society is a staggering $35 billion per year. And with more cases, that figure is likely to increase. Fortunately, there is clear evidence that earlier identification and intervention and supports throughout the lifespan can improve outcomes and quality of life.
If you are concerned about your child’s development, please see the “Learn the Signs” page of our website. If you are an adult struggling with issues that might be related to autism, please follow the hyperlinks to our resource page for adults and our page on Asperger Syndrome.
Got more questions? Send them to GotQuestions@autismspeaks.org. And join our next live webchat with Dr. Dawson and her co-host, Autism Speaks assistant vice president and head of medical research Joe Horrigan, MD on January 5th. More information on their monthly webchats here.
In Their Own Words – I Want My Money Back
John Scott Holman struggled with undiagnosed autism for nearly 25 years. His diagnosis has enabled him to embrace his individuality and move forward. He writes and speaks publicly about his life with autism, hoping to inspire greater understanding and acceptance. Visit his Facebook page here.
At the tender age of fifteen, I saw my first psychologist, a stern, elderly man who smelled like a second hand bookstore. His full, wiry beard, was speckled with white and gray, as if it had caught the contents of an overturned ashtray. It fell past his chest, disappearing beneath the edge of his massive, oak desk. I wondered if it reached his toes, and leaned forward awkwardly, hoping for a revealing glimpse.
“Young man,” he said, startling me. “Tell me why you’re here.”
“Do you shampoo that beard?” I asked.
“Excuse me…”
“You look like Charles Darwin.”
He leaned back and stared at me, mildly annoyed, as if I was a fly he had noticed swimming in his coffee. “Your family is concerned by you behavior. I believe…”
“I commend you, sir!” I interrupted. “The world is experiencing a shortage of truly magnificent facial hair; you’ve got the best beard I’ve seen all year! You know who else had a good beard? Sigmund Freud. Are you a Freudian psychologist?”
“Young man, let’s try to stay on topic.”
“Right, beards… Nobody could beat Tolstoy’s beard. Now that dude had a beard!”
“Young man!” he bellowed, startling me again.
“Humph… Young man,” I muttered. “Just ‘cause I can’t grow a big fancy beard…”
The psychologist lifted a notepad from his desk and began scribbling absentmindedly. “I’m afraid,” he said, “that you have a very serious case of Bipolar Disorder.”
“Huh? How do you know? I’ve only been here for five minutes!”
“Trust me; I’ve been around a long time.”
“But… I’ve never had a manic episode, and the DSM-IV clearly states…”
“You, my dear boy, are an upstart!” the psychologist fumed, a fat, blue vein trembling in his forehead.
“Ok, chill dude… I’m bipolar. Whatever you say… Beethoven was bipolar. I don’t think he had a beard though…”
For as long as I can remember, people have been trying to figure me out. Other parents told my mother and father that I was clearly lacking discipline. Teachers refused me an education unless I was prescribed enough Ritalin to keep the Rolling Stones touring for another century. Pastors believed I was possessed, and prepared to wipe my projectile vomit from the pews when I trotted into Sunday morning service.
Hyperactive, precocious, and more than a little odd, I was truly a handful. Snakes, snails, and puppy dog tails? If only my mother was so lucky. Someone must have littered my gene pool with pixie sticks, happy meals, mountain dew, and an Encyclopedia Britannica.
“There’s something wrong with him,” my mother would sob. “He’s allergic to people! He won’t sit still, he won’t listen, he’s always hurting himself, and he’s smarter than my whole graduating class put together!”
I treated other children like overgrown action figures, ordering them about, an infantile Cecil B. Demille directing a playground epic. “C’mon Tina, say that line again, and this time, say it with feeling! Put down the Polly Pocket and explain your character’s motivation!” Eventually, my peers developed their own interests, and I was left to wander the playground alone, thinking of Ghostbusters, Power Rangers, and… existential motifs in Russian literature.
“Scotty’s latest obsession,” was a phrase used regularly to describe the most current of my all encompassing interests. At twelve years-old, I had forgotten more randomly collected information than most people will learn in college. My obsessions gradually became less and less age appropriate as my focus narrowed; retired barbiturate and amphetamine combinations used as antidepressants in the 50s and 60s; sadomasochistic undertones in the cinema of Joseph von Sternberg; and the impact of synesthesia on the literature of Vladimir Nabokov; to name a select few.
I wasn’t interested in girls, or boys, for that matter. My parents bought me a Mustang for my sixteenth birthday – I drove it all of three times. I wore the same few outfits day after day. I was diagnosed with ADHD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, and, of course, Bipolar Disorder.
True, I was rather emotionally volatile, but this was greatly exacerbated by the constant chaos which engulfed my family. My father had played major league Baseball for the Seattle Mariners, and was absent for the majority of my childhood. As a result of his career, my family moved dozens of times before I was ten years-old. When I was twelve, my eight year-old brother fell 31 feet from a ski lift, nearly dying. If that wasn’t enough, the routine MRI, which followed his accident, revealed a tumor in his brain. He later underwent a dangerous surgery to have it removed. My adopted sister was diagnosed with leukemia at three years-old. My father required an open heart surgery to repair a leaking mitral valve.
Though thoroughly weary of hospitals, I was typically content to find a quiet corner of the waiting room and study Italian Neorealism – “Scott, your sister is dying, no one wants to hear about Federico Fellini!”
Psychiatrists pumped me full of every neuroleptic in the book (Adderall and Celexa, medications which I am now benefiting enormously from, were withheld because they are contraindicated in cases of Bipolar Disorder). I was as incoherent as Mel Gibson at happy hour, and experienced agonizing side-effects which led me to attempt suicide.
My sister died at ten years-old, after battling leukemia for seven years. I was holding her hand when she passed. I was fed up with life, convinced that I was a waste of oxygen in a cruel and meaningless world.
I began heavily abusing street drugs, playing intravenous Russian roulette with every pill and powder I could get my hands on. I would wake up on the cool linoleum of my bathroom floor cursing my indestructibility – I was still alive.
I spent time in mental hospitals and treatment centers. Luckily, my obsession with drugs had a shelf life, as all my obsessions do. I lost interest and moved on.
At 24 years-old, my girlfriend suggested that I might have Asperger Syndrome.
“Huh?”
“Scott,” she said, “you can recite every line of the movie Cabaret, yet you haven’t seen it since you were thirteen. You just listed every currently marketed benzodiazepine in alphabetical order, apparently for my entertainment.
“So…?”
“You’re a walking dictionary but you can’t remember your own address. Not only can you not drive, you can’t figure out which of the three cars parked in your driveway is mine. I think you should see a doctor.”
“I’ve seen them all.”
“Scott…”
“Ok… ok… Wait, I’m autistic? I want my money back…”
How did I manage to live a quarter of a century without being properly diagnosed. I’m autistic – duh!
Discovering my autism has been my saving grace. I will never forget the overwhelming emotions that poured over me when I first read about Asperger Syndrome in the DSM-IV. I’m not broken. I’m not bad. I’m just autistic and that is alright! Since being formally diagnosed, I’ve come to understand and embrace myself for the remarkable person I am. In a few short months, I’ve become a prolific autistic writer, with a column appearing this week on wrongplanet.net, a potential contract with a publishing company, translations of my articles in Hebrew, public speaking engagements, and an opportunity to travel to San Francisco to help Alex Plank and crew film a documentary on Hacking Autism.
Somebody pinch me!
Even when I had given up on myself, God had a plan for my life. I now have the opportunity to use my gifts to spread awareness of autism spectrum disorders. If sharing my experiences spares other autistics from going through the pain of living undiagnosed, my struggles will not have been in vain.
My diagnosis has been my vindication and my inspiration. I want to shout it from the rooftops; “I’m autistic!”
Well, better late than never.
Seriously though, I want my money back…
“In Their Own Words” is a series within the Autism Speaks blog which shares the voices of people who have autism, as well as their loved ones. If you have a story you wish to share about your personal experience with autism, please send it to editors@autismspeaks.org. Autism Speaks reserves the right to edit contributions for space, style and content. Because of the volume of submissions, not all can be published on the site.
LIVE Q & A Transcript with Co-Founder Suzanne Wright
Suzanne and Bob Wright are co-founders of Autism Speaks, the world’s largest autism science and advocacy organization. Inspired by the challenges facing their grandson, who suffers from autism, they launched the foundation in February 2005.
Suzanne has an extensive history of active involvement in community and philanthropic endeavors, mostly directed toward helping children. She is a Trustee Emeritus of Sarah Lawrence College, her alma mater. Suzanne has received numerous awards, the Women of Distinction Award from Palm Beach Atlantic University, the CHILD Magazine Children’s Champions Award, Luella Bennack Volunteer Award, Spirit of Achievement award by the Albert Einstein College of Medicine’s National Women’s Division and The Women of Vision Award from the Weizmann Institute of Science.
In 2008, Suzanne and Bob were named in Time 100’s Heroes and Pioneers category, for their commitment to global autism advocacy. They have also received the first ever Double Helix Award for Corporate Leadership from Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory, the NYU Child Advocacy Award, the Castle Connolly National Health Leadership Award and the American Ireland Fund Humanitarian Award. In the past couple of years the Wrights have received honorary doctorate degrees from St. John’s University, St. Joseph’s University and UMass Medical School – they delivered respective commencement addresses at the first two of these schools. The Wrights are the first married couple to be bestowed such an honor in St. John’s history.
The Wrights have three children and five grandchildren.
Click here to read A Grandparent’s Guide to Autism.
|
12:59
|
|
|
1:00
|
|
|
1:00
|
|
|
1:00
|
|
|
1:01
|
|
|
1:01
|
|
|
1:02
|
|
|
1:03
|
|
|
1:04
|
|
|
1:06
|
|
|
1:09
|
|
|
1:09
|
|
|
1:11
|
|
|
1:11
|
|
|
1:13
|
|
|
1:13
|
|
|
1:15
|
|
|
1:15
|
|
|
1:16
|
|
|
1:16
|
|
|
1:17
|
|
|
1:19
|
|
|
1:21
|
|
|
1:21
|
|
|
1:22
|
|
|
1:22
|
|
|
1:24
|
|
|
1:24
|
|
|
1:25
|
|
|
1:26
|
|
|
1:27
|
|
|
1:30
|
|
|
1:30
|
|
|
1:31
|
|
|
1:33
|
|
|
1:33
|
|
|
1:35
|
|
|
1:37
|
|
|
1:40
|
|
|
1:43
|
|
|
1:44
|
|
|
1:46
|
|
|
1:46
|
|
|
1:47
|
|
|
1:48
|
|
|
1:52
|
|




