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George Braddock Chat Transcript
On Monday, November 21 George Braddock hosted a live chat about how to advance community living for adults on autism spectrum.
George Braddock is President of Creative Housing Solutions LLC. He pioneered the implementation of person-centered planning principles to homes for people with disabilities. George provides environmental engineering services for persons with intellectual and physical disabilities, families, providers and governmental agencies.
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In Their Own Words: Treasure What You Have
This is a blog post by Lena Rivkin, M.F.A., is an artist and graphologist living in Los Angeles.
Saturday was the Pumpkin Festival. As my brother and I wandered around looking at the colorful, wildly shaped pumpkins and gourds, I realized that Halloween is the harbinger for the upcoming holiday season. While other families carve pumpkins and scheme over costume ideas and how to keep the sugar intake to a minimum- my brother will be needlepointing his heart out. While other families excavate Halloween and holiday decorations from boxes in the attic, Phillip will be obsessively crossing days off of his large collection of calendars. While we all ramp up our already hectic schedules to include gift ideas, holiday outfits and double-book numerous get-togethers, it is slightly different for those of us who have special-needs family members.
My brother, Phillip, is a severely autistic adult and lives in a group home in North Hills, California, administered by New Horizons, a non-profit organization dedicated to helping adults with developmental disabilities. Phillip also attends a day school called Tierra Del Sol Foundation. The 9th Annual Fall Festival was a fun way to raise funds for Phillip’s day school. Among the great line-up of entertainment was Murphy’s Flaw Band- a terrific bluegrass group and gorgeous Aztec dancers that dazzled the eyes and ears.
Phillip really loved looking at the ceramic crafts hand-made by him and his classmates. It takes a subtle eye to recognize what Phillip really enjoys since he doesn’t speak and willingly goes along with pretty much everything I suggest. Sometimes I feel like the narrator of his life. “Isn’t this a beautiful mask, Phillip?” or “Phillip, are you ready for lunch?” He’ll nod a sort of yes to everything I ask him, especially if it relates to food! Or I can tell by another look in his eye that he appreciates what I am seeing or is ready to see something else. When I am with Phillip, if I still my inner voice and erase any personal agenda, I can hear him with my eyes and appreciate exactly who he is, not wish him to be who he simply will never be.
The holidays matter to us as well, just a little differently than everyone else. When you have a sibling who cannot speak, make direct eye contact or give a hug, a Gap Gift Certificate doesn’t quite manage to bridge the gap. Phillip would be far happier watching me draw a pattern for him to needlepoint or baking cupcakes with him or simply being with him. For those who are uncomfortable with developmentally delayed people, when it comes to birthdays or holidays, doing nothing appears easier than wondering whether a gift or card would even resonate.
But focusing on what simple acts delight our autistic family members is the kind of holiday gift that money cannot buy. I have dear friends who make a point of including Phillip in their life because they recognize he is an important part of my life. They mail him postcards regularly from anywhere in the world, even from home, because they know he is thrilled to receive them. As Edmund Burke said, “Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little.” The greatest gestures can also be the smallest.
Holidays nowadays are more likely to resemble high stakes poker games or full impact sporting events or high spending reality shows than simple exchanges of love and friendship. Holidays can be hallmarks of tiny gestures. In our fast paced and recession-tired current times, holidays prove to be challenging for all families.
Almost every American has grown up with Norman Rockwell’s cheerfully chaotic portraits of large joyful families crowded around a Thanksgiving table. For many of us, Rockwell’s iconic paintings hold up a beautiful ideal of family life. As a child, I truly admired Rockwell’s incredibly warm-hearted realistic paintings. As I studied art at UCLA and became an Expressionist painter, I grew to reject Rockwell’s idyllic utopia as sugarcoated and corny. I’ve come full circle with Rockwell, and now can truly appreciate his extraordinary talent as an illustrator, especially as I now know more about Rockwell’s life. He grew up in a silent, working class family in New York City, married three times, and struggled with depression. A telling quote of his was that he painted his happiness but did not live it. Not that I am trying to celebrate the woes of those who famously appear happy, I merely appreciate knowing that not even Norman Rockwell had the Norman Rockwell fantasy holiday season.
We are all fraught with unfair expectations that every holiday season must be the perfect embodiment of familial bliss. As soon as Halloween is over we brace ourselves for the marketing onslaught in stores and on inundating us with endlessly perfect present suggestions and spectacularly decorated homes, trees and stunning meals. It seems every year the goal gets higher, more expensive and sadly more elusive. But perhaps we can all jump off the holiday hamster wheel if we simply re-adjust and redefine our values. Find the gift that isn’t the mall. Look deeper at the act of giving.
For Phillip, the best presents are silent, handmade gestures from the heart. The best gift I can give my beloved brother is myself; I design the needlepoints he stitches. Our gift to each other is how we communicate via our creative collaborations. His endless gift to me is to treasure the present moment. Perhaps determining how best to give of ourselves can be the most rewarding New Year’s Resolution we can make.
In Their Own Words – Seeking a Connection
This is a guest blog post by Ali Dyer, the Social Media Coordinator at Autism Speaks. Her older brother Jeff has autism.
As I read a diary of a mom’s ‘a pink sock sorry,’ I immediately fell back to my younger self trying to connect with my older brother Jeff. I understood what it was like expending endless amounts of energy just to have my brother see me. It seemed back then he just never did. Like my friend Katie, I just wanted to love my sibling.
For years, we worked to have Jeff let us in and for years he wasn’t ready. He used to watch the television with his face practically touching the screen. From the moment I could stand, I would try and wedge myself between him and his object of interest, always to be knocked over. My oldest brother Tom and I never stopped loving him – we actually became more fierce and protective.
My mother is a very talented photographer and so much of our life is captured on film. The photos over the years show us clinging to Jeff. He is either staring off into the distance or running away. I think they are beautiful. They are honest. That is how it was.
Eventually, he came around. Now he can’t get enough of us! But there are times when we go back to the old days, and I have to respect his need for space. He knows that I love him and I’ll be waiting when he is ready.
The photos look more like this now.
Jeff is twenty-six, which comes with a whole new set of challenges. We made it over the hump of him transitioning into a group home. It is more than a year later and we are still making adjustments. To be honest, I don’t know that we ever will fully adjust. Despite that, we will try and keep moving ahead giving Jeff the most productive and full life possible.
I know as time wears on Jeff will need me, but in truth, I will need him so much more.
“In Their Own Words” is a series within the Autism Speaks blog which shares the voices of people who have autism, as well as their loved ones. If you have a story you wish to share about your personal experience with autism, please send it to editors@autismspeaks.org. Autism Speaks reserves the right to edit contributions for space, style and content. Because of the volume of submissions, not all can be published on the site.
Communicating Through Cupcakes
This is by Lena Rivkin, M.F.A., is an artist and graphologist living in Los Angeles.
Can you count the stars? Impossible! It’s just so comforting to look up and see that they are there, that you can count on them coming out every time. That pretty much describes the way I feel when I’m hanging out with Phillip at his house…when we’re baking cupcakes together. I look up at his face flushed with joy and watch as he adds the final touches –
sprinkles, maybe – to the icing of his latest creation. In a fast-paced world, baking with Phillip is a quiet moment in time.
For those of you who read my previous article about him, you’ll remember that my older brother Phillip, who is severely autistic and nonverbal, loves to stitch needlepoint. I create the designs and Phillip is the craftsman. Our collaboration provides a special connection between our worlds – without words. He has been living for 29 years in a group home administered by New Horizons (a non-profit organization dedicated to helping adults with developmental disabilities) in North Hills, California, and attends a day program at Tierra del Sol in Sunland.
Since Phillip always exhibits a marked interest in repetitive behavior, for years we have engaged in needlepoint projects together at my house. And lately, we have been hanging out at the place where he lives to bake together. We particularly enjoy baking cupcakes. Historically, a recipe for a small cake first occurred in the U.S. in a cookbook appropriately titled American Cookery. It was written by Amelia Simms in 1796. However, the actual word cupcake (because it’s the size of a teacup) was first used in 1828 by Eliza Leslie inSeventy-five Receipts for Pastry, Cakes, and Sweetmeats. When Phillip and I bake cupcakes in 2011, we are entering into an innovative space where we can create an edible form of art.
First we line each section of the muffin pan with crinkly, colorful paper cups, a simple, repetitive process that Phillip
enjoys. Then we make a host of cupcakes, ranging from…oh, red velvet cupcakes with vanilla cream cheese frosting or pineapple-carrot, or dark chocolate with raspberry frosting. (Did you know that the height of the frosting should be about one-third the height of the cupcake? Sometimes, when we are feeling really daring, we make the frosting one half of the whole. It’s fun.) And we make strawberry and chocolate-almond, lemon-fudge, or orange-spice cupcakes too.
The ingredients for cupcakes are all pretty much the same: butter, sugar, egg, and flour just like a standard layer cake. Yet what we end up with is a creation. For my birthday, we felt really expansive and made a full-size chocolate cake. We design our cupcakes differently every week, even though we start with a very ordinary cake mix. Sometimes we dip dried or fresh fruit into chocolate. The visual effects are very important, just as they are when Phillip is keeping busy translating my designs into his meticulously crafted needlepoint. In fact, while the cupcakes are baking, he works on his needlepoint.
As with the needlepoint, there is a therapeutic process at work when we are baking. It involves eye and hand coordination as well as the joy of creation – and a sense of place. Although I still take Phillip to my house and other places (museums, parks, stores, and visits to friends), when we make cupcakes, we are enjoying being together in a consistent way in the place where he lives – his house. I feel that I am truly participating in his daily life with these home visits and learning about his activities, as well as the chores that are required of him. I particularly enjoy getting to know the outstanding staff – Samir Qureshi (the House Manager, who is also an excellent cook) and another member of the staff, Jamie Page, who are both an essential part of our weekly baking activity with their supportive and positive help with the baking. I am also becoming closer to Phillip’s friends. Everybody loves eating the cupcakes, so there is plenty of joy to pass around! Because the cupcakes bake quickly, while a tantalizing aroma fills the house, we don’t have to wait long to enjoy them.
Cupcakes have attracted wide interest today. In fact, cupcake-making has become a competitive “sport.” There are actually “cupcake wars” sponsored by food companies where people vie on television to win big prizes for the “best” cupcake recipe. But Phillip and I, his friends and the supportive staff don’t want to enter our cupcake recipes into showcase competition. We simply love the warmth of making them and sharing them in friendship together.

“In Their Own Words” is a series within the Autism Speaks blog which shares the voices of people who have autism, as well as their loved ones. If you have a story you wish to share about your personal experience with autism, please send it to editors@autismspeaks.org. Autism Speaks reserves the right to edit contributions for space, style and content. Because of the volume of submissions, not all can be published on the site.









