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Posts Tagged ‘Lou’s Land’

A Special Thank You from Lou!

August 23, 2011 4 comments

Lou was overwhelmed by the community response to his video “Fixing” Autism that was featured in, Power in Unspoken Words blog post. As a follow-up, we’d like to share this, created by Lou for the community.

For more from Lou, please visit his blog, Lou’s Land!

Power in Unspoken Words

August 18, 2011 37 comments

Sometimes words that aren’t actually spoken out loud are the most powerful of all. Lou is the married father of three. His eldest daughter has autism. You can read more at blog, Lou’s Land.

A message from Lou:

Sometimes anger can really inspire you. Sometimes it is the simple ideas that are the most effective. When the two come together, it can lead to something really special. That has been the experience I have had with my “Fixing” Autism video.

I don’t think anybody would ever describe me as a braggart, but this time I am not going to shy away from being proud of something I created. Probably because this time it is personal. Have you ever reached your limit? On August 13th, I had reached mine.

I had a simple plan. Share my story and back up my frustration with facts. The numbers had been driving me mad for months. While doing some research on autism statistics, I had come across a page on the Autism Speaks website entitled; “Facts about Autism” and the numbers were dizzying. The disparity in funding made me sick to my stomach. Most people of child bearing age know the basic statistic that 1 in 110 children in the US will be diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, what most people don’t know is the frustration that comes from the parents of autistic kids when they see the complete lack of equal funding for something that appears epidemic in nature, particularly to those involved.

I must have visited that page 10 times. Each time I looked at the numbers my frustration increased. As I stared at my computer screen, I felt like more people needed to understand these statistics. They were absolutely vital to the war that parents dealing with ASD are fighting every day. Those numbers are why these parents have to struggle. But while I found the numbers important and interesting, I really felt like they were dead on the page. Reading statistics is not exactly exciting. It isn’t “sexy” as the Hollywood types say. That is when the light bulb turned on.

I had to give the numbers meaning. I had to personalize them. I had to add a human element to what those statistics meant to the parents of an autistic child. To do that, I knew that I would have to make myself a little vulnerable. I had to tell our story and why I felt those numbers had to be shared. What I realized as I made my notes was that it really wasn’t MY story. It was OUR story. The autism community has a shared experience of embarrassment, shame, anger and helplessness. Often times, all of these chips stacked against us result in us being quiet and shutting down. We become discouraged and for fear of being denied yet another service we view as vital but the insurance companies see as “experimental”… we do nothing, paralyzed by fear.

Powered by a lack of sleep from staying up with Bianca most of the night, I opened up some notes I had emailed to myself and started to transfer those thoughts to index cards. I knew exactly what song I wanted to use because a few months earlier I broke down in the car when it came on the radio. It made me think about my daughter. As a man, I could certainly relate to the idea of desperately wanting to “fix” something. That feeling tends to be instinctual to us men folk when we see that something is wrong. We want to fix it. Sometimes we make it worse, other times we may just confuse the situation, but when we are really fortunate we can set things right.

That is what I hoped to do… make things right. Affect change. Change the dialogue. Make other parents that are in my situation feel like they can scream from the mountaintops about the injustice and the frustration that comes wrapped up in a red-tape bow every time you have to talk to the insurance company, or go over an IEP. I wanted to make it so that others knew that it was OK to be mad as hell that they have filled out yet ANOTHER form asking what your child’s limitations are, while seeming to care less about what they excel at. I wanted to affect a person with neuro-typical kids in such a way that when they see a child acting up in public, they glance over not with disdain but with compassion.

So I had a webcam, index cards, an MP3 and most importantly the raw, honest truth. After I edited the piece together I clicked play to review my work. I felt like I was watching it for the first time. As if I wasn’t even the one in the video… and I knew it was right. Sure there are some technical things I would like to change… but the message was dead on.

I debated just putting the video up on my Facebook page, but that was safe. I really wanted this message to be heard. I was proud, and I was still angry. I uploaded it to YouTube, told some friends about it, and shared it on the Autism Speaks Facebook page. The reaction was immediate and incredibly humbling. It gave me the motivation to promote it with a little more gusto. An old co-worker of mine believed in the message so much that she started to promote the video all over the Twitterverse. That gave me even more energy to feed off of, and before you knew it the video was being seen by important people in the autism community. Imagine my surprise when I took Bianca to therapy with the intention of telling the therapists about the video only to have them tell me that they saw and loved it before I could bring it up. I was stunned.

So I encourage my fellow parents out there in Autismland… don’t just talk to others about your experience… SCREAM it. It doesn’t have to be a video. All you need is to own the truth. It is OK. It isn’t whining if there is injustice. When insurance companies will pay for people’s allergy shots because their new girlfriend has a kitty, but not for my daughter’s speech therapy… and she CAN’T COMMUNICATE… it is OK to be mad. Let’s end the shame and the silence and start holding people accountable.

 

The Combating Autism Reauthorization Act (CARA) of 2011 would reauthorize the landmark Combating Autism Act of 2006, securing the federal response to the national and public health emergency posed by autism spectrum disorders.

For more information on autism legislation and advocacy, please visit Autism Votes.

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