“Celebrity Apprentice” Episode 1 – Burger Heaven
Okay kids – I haven’t been this excited to watch “The Apprentice” since Randal Pinkett won season four. On that season’s finale, Autism Speaks was the featured charity for Randal and his team. They had to host a celebrity softball game out in Coney Island. It rained, the game got postponed, and Randal beat out Rebecca and her bad ankle to win the task. I got to bring my mom and meet Donald Trump – she is still talking about it today. It was also the first time Autism Speaks got national exposure on a prime time show. (Deep down inside I have a soft spot for Mark Burnett and all things “Apprentice.”)
Now let’s talk about this season:
Let’s just say that they word “celebrity” is used very loosely when it comes to some of this year’s contestants. I know who Sharon Osbourne, Holly Robinson Peete, Cyndi Lauper, Sinbad, and Bret “Rock of Love” Michaels are, but who the heck are Selita Ebanks and Curtis Stone? Even though I have never seen them in Entertainment Weekly, I will say they both are some fine looking eye candy.
The other thing I found a bit alarming was all the cursing, especially from The Donald. Has he been hanging with Snooki and The Situation down at the Jersey Shore? C’mon, Mr. Trump, is this how you make your show edgy? Does every other word have to be a BLEEP and a BLEEP? (Just make things interesting and the rest will follow.)
If you’ve got this on DVR, good for you – because it certainly isn’t worth the two hours NBC carved out for it on Sunday night. “The Apprentice” works best when it’s an hour-long show. In the first episode, the men and women are separated into teams and asked to choose each others project manager. Drama ensues …
In addition to choosing the opposite team’s project manager, they must run a diner and try and make the most money, including tips. Oh, and the other thing they need to do is come up with a name for their team. How very Survivor.
The woman pick the guy with the least amount of sleep, Bret Michaels, who just got back from doing a gig in Mexico and looks like he just got off his love bus. “Tenacity” is the team name chosen by the women.
The men pick Cyndi Lauper. They pick Cyndi because they think she is crazy and they are hoping that she will irk the ladies’ team. They aren’t that far off. “Rock Solid” is the name the guys pick for their team. Air guitar anyone?
Now for the task …
Each team gets to run a Burger Heaven. Burp. The ladies get the better location on 62nd and Lexington and the guys get the one over at 53rd and Madison.
They guys quickly discuss who is going to do what. Bret is out of his league, but has an ace in the hole with Curtis Stone (the hottie chef I never heard of.) The men’s menu has got some high-priced menu items and “food, fundraising and focus” is the motto over at team Rock Solid.
Cyndi and team Tenacity are getting things cooking over at the Lexington location. The gals pull in the paparazzi to take some pictures of Sharon and Cyndi. Cyndi thinks she looks fat in all of the pictures, and Sharon thinks that she is totally barking mad! Holly is calling in all her friends, including the gang over at Autism Speaks, to show up and order some burgers. The Victoria Secret model gets kitchen duties with the other woman I have no idea who the heck is. Carol Leifer wants to serve strawberries with the burgers, so if you watch any reality TV you’ll soon know where this is going.
It’s burger time.
As each team gets ready to grill some burgers, Mr. Trump sends out Joan Rivers to be his secret spy, so he can get the dish on what team is doing what. Is it me or is Joan Rivers looking like one of those mannequins from the Old Navy ads?
First stop for Ms. Rivers is Rock Solid’s Burger Heaven. It didn’t look too good for the guys at first, when all the low rollers started running out of the restaurant once they saw the menu. But by the time Joan and Al Roker got there, the burger listed for 100 bucks was starting to move. It seems that Daryl Strawberry really does have friends in high places. The guys were also getting some Rock Solid tips. Too bad ex-Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was taking orders because he left poor Joan’s burger on the counter for 10 minutes. That guy sure likes to talk and Joan was less than pleased.
Over at the Tenacity Burger Heaven, things were moving. The line was stretched around the block and the ladies were a bit overwhelmed. Their menu wasn’t so pricey and they didn’t have as many high rollers coming in. But Joan did like their burger and service better than the guys. Spotted at the restaurant were Autism Speaks’ very own Christina, Denise and Melissa. (One piece of advice to Melissa – next time you are being filmed for a hit reality show ditch the CrackBerry.)
And the winner is … (major spoiler ahead)
Joan loves the ladies’ burger better and tells The Donald, he gives the ladies an extra $10,000 for their kitty, but it’s not enough. Team Rock Solid grills them by raising over $57,000, while Team Tenacity comes up way short with $39,559 dollars, even with Joan’s extra cash. You know what that means. Crazy Cyndi and the gals are going to the boardroom. Before we get all the in-fighting they interview Holly. She is seen wearing the Autism Speaks pin, which is way cool. Go Holly!
None of the gals want to see anyone go home and Cyndi is having a hard time firing anybody. Donald is laying into them hard and as they start to crack, the team turns on Carl “Strawberry” Leifer. MEOW! Mr. Trump asks Cyndi to pick two people to come into the boardroom. She can’t, so he fires Carol right there on the spot. Boom bam. The guys are having a really good time watching in the other room.
I’m digging the new show, especially seeing Cyndi, Sharon and our friend Holly. Let’s hope the gals can pull it together and that Mr. Burnett and NBC keep this show to an hour instead of the blotted two. Sometimes less is so much more.
Next week: Bret wears a different Christian Audigier t-shirt but the same eyesore cowboy hat.
Would you like to be next week’s guest blogger? Send your recap of “Celebrity Apprentice” to firstname.lastname@example.org, prior to 8 a.m. next Monday. We will select our favorite for posting here.
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