Home > In Their Own Words > In Their Own Words – Wounded Heart

In Their Own Words – Wounded Heart

We received the following e-mail and poem from an individual who asked to remain anonymous: I’ve been following your posts via Facebook and truly appreciate your efforts for people associated with autism. I, myself, had/have a similar condition. I have social anxiety and selective mutism. The symptoms I had when I was young were similar to those of autism. Please let me share a poem I had written. I’m now a 30 year old, who has been struggling to lead a normal life.

It all started in 84′,
The life of a student who’s slow..

Going to school with bro and sis,
They were great caregivers of his..

Never spoke in the class,
No wonder he was a true outcast..

A student’s life for him was never there,
Playing time was also nowhere..

Loneliness was all to know,
There should have been something more..

Primary, Secondary all the same,
Sitting still as if in shame..

Wanted to make friends and get a life,
Sadly nothing much was left to rejoice..

Felt sorry for kind classmates,
The pain was really hard to take..

Didn’t respond even when asked,
One can imagine it was so tough..

Started to utter before the school’s end,
Begin to get a life only then..

Some improvements in recent years,
Even then he can’t forget the tears..

Many things still of which he is afraid,
Despite him having turned twenty eight..

Always desperate to improve and make a start,
But the wound is there in his heart.

“In Their Own Words” is a series within the Autism Speaks blog which shares the voices of people who have autism, as well as their loved ones. If you have a story you wish to share about your personal experience with autism, please send it to editors@autismspeaks.org. Autism Speaks reserves the right to edit contributions for space, style and content. Because of the volume of submissions, not all can be published on the site.


  1. Mary
    August 13, 2010 at 10:31 am

    My heart goes out to you—i would like to share the burden of your pain — you are perfect as you are.

  2. Shelly Diamond
    August 13, 2010 at 11:53 am

    so very touching, heartbreaking really> Inaceptance of a child can cause so very much pain. I wish it was different. I will always picture my little boy in kindergarten, all excited, being shunned for being different-Aspergers.

  3. Sarah
    August 13, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    This is a beautiful poem and you are very brave for sharing it. Whether you speak verbally or not, you have a voice in this world.

  4. August 13, 2010 at 12:30 pm

    When i was a little girl growing up .i was very very shy. i would speak in a whisper for mqny years. i had trouble learning esp math. i stuttered for mazny years. i thought it was because i was drm a single mother who was an alcoholic and very abusive and a brother who when i was 8 he was 15 and died in our living room frm huffing every kind of aqbuse there was happen to me starting at age 6. i couldnt make friends i was afraid of the other kids who picked on me afraaid of my mom who hated me i ended up growing up to be a very agressive abusive drug addicted bully. thatt was many years ago i was however diag with adha and bipolar and ptsd. i have an autisic son who is 13yrs old. i see alot of me in him. i always wondered if maybe i was autisic but i had to learn how to ssurvive on the streets because thats where i ended up at 13yrs old and a ward of the state. my mother hated me because i was an embarassment to her because of my difficulties with socializing. i had no soocial skills. i am told i have no copin

  5. james moses
    August 13, 2010 at 4:30 pm

    It is hard enough to grow up and “fit in” socially…can you imagine trying to do so when you have different challenges like this? My two youngest sons 7, and 6 are both autistic.Max (7), has grown so much more socailly than Jackson over the years…largely I believe because of his love of music and guitars.He has taken lessons for a year now and plays quite well and his social skills…well, the kid exhibits some definate traits of what he is, but is not shy and loves a crowd.Jackson didnt speak from 16 mos till about 3 1/2yrs old.He has slowly but surely found his voice and more and more communicates what he wants/needs/sees/observes, thanks to therapy at school and at a local child services center, plus I feel music has also made his life more beautiful and wide open.They will both face challenges but I am hopeful that their beautiful spirits and the support of their communities and schools will help along the way.

  6. August 13, 2010 at 7:48 pm

    i am sadden that a life of cruelty you have suffered. i have a nine yr old with autism and i watch him stuggle with the same now. i am very vocal against this and feel he should be treated no different. but unfortunately this doesn’t happen. i will be his shoulder to cry on and his strength when he needs it. i will help him to try to make friends and keep them. may you be the inspiration for all our children,

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